December 10, 2014

at 18 she is your first real kiss.
she is different because there is gentleness in it
that you didn’t know you were missing
when you were giving attention
to boys who just don’t care
and her passion in the way she touches you,
will set you free.
you’ll understand she wasn’t meant
to stay in your life forever
and when she has to go, you’ll feel as if
she took a part of you with her,
and you’ll try to find it again,
in the quiet dark night through the warped glass
of a wine bottle.
at 19 you think you’ve figured yourself out
and jump at the chance to prove this
so you fall very fast and painfully hard
for the first girl with intense eyes that seem
to burn into you when she tells you all of
the amazing things you are.
it takes time but you realize that she was
using your light to make a home,
and when she is done she’ll move on to
the next brightest thing
and you will let her.
at 20 you definitely know who you are
and you begin to pick through people and feelings
like weeds among flowers
until you find a different kind of natural beauty
in the strangest place.
you’ll think you two are as perfect for each
as the sun and the moon
and tend to forget that the moon has a dark side
we don’t always see.
so when she leaves you, and she will
because she hasn’t learned the art of staying,
it won’t be because you weren’t a bright enough sun.
you realize it will take more time
to find someone who appreciates your warmth,
but you’ll learn to love your own glowing flames
and you won’t need a bottle in a dark night,
but simply good friends who hold you when you cry
and lots of music to sing about it.
you hope 21 is a lot better than this
and start to wonder if every birthday
comes with a secret lesson attached to it
that’s somewhere in the fine print of your gifts.
you vow to wear your glasses more often.